Funny CID Jokes :- 2014 Big Hits

Tumhari patni ka bhai lagta tumhara saala hai

Wah Wah…

Tumhari patni ka bhai lagta tumhara sala hai

Irshaad…

Tumhari patni ka bhai lagta tumhara sala hai

Arey bhai, aage bhi to bolo….

Daya says: Abhijeet mujhe to lagta jaroor daal mein kuch kala hai :-D

Gutthi Kapil Shayari From Comedy Nights :- Funny Jokes One Of 2014 Big Hit

Arz thoka hai..
Tum kya keemat lagaoge is bazaar mein meri wafa ki,

Tum kya keemat lagaoge is bazaar mein meri wafa ki,

Jidhar dekho bazaar mein 50% off chal raha hai!!

Kapil
——
Rishton ke bazaar mein mohabbat ki daulat na baantna,

Rishton ke bazaar mein mohabbat ki daulat na baantna,

Basanti in kutton ke samne mat nachana..!! :-P

Gutthi
——-
Teri chahat mein na bujhne diya, pyar ka diya..

Teri chahat mein na bujhne diya, pyar ka diya..

Piya, piya o piya piya
Piya , piya oh piya

Kapil
——
Kuch bhi karle eh haseena

Kuch bhi karle eh haseena

Nahi lagega tera chance,

One, two, three , four
Lungi dance, lungi dance

Gutthi to Sidhu
—————–
Paaji.. Gutthi aa gayi aapki,
nahi yeh apne baap ki,
Lekin yeh hai aapki.. Paaji..
Kaindi po
Kaindi pee
Kaindi poo

Kapil Sharma Funny Jokes

A guy from the audience says:
Ji main aapka bahut bada fan hun.
Maine aapki Saari hollywood and bollywood movies dekhi hain.
Aapke saath aapki movie ka ek step karna chahta hoon!!

Yeh baat sunkar siddhu says:
Guru,
Har Peela fruit aam nhi hota,
Glass me mut ke piyo to vo jam nhi hota,
Har sita ka pati ram nhi hota,
Thodi jeb dhili karo or uthao hotel ka kharcha,
Kyunki ye vo step hai jo khulle aam nhi hota!

Latest Funny Kapil Sharma Jokes 2014

Teacher: Tum mirror ke saamne baithkar kyun padhte ho…

Kapil Junior:
Madam, Iske 3 faayde hain

1) Padhne ke liye company mil jaati hai
2) Khud par nazar bhi rehti hai
3) Saath mein revision bhi ho jaata hai

Kapil Sharma Funny Jokes 2014

Kiran Kherr: Mera husband bazaar gaya tha aaloo khareedne, 5 din ho gaye.. Abhi tak wapas nahin aaya!

Dadi: To kuchh aur paka leti, Itna wait kyun kar rahi hai?

Funny CID Jokes 2014-15

RAJANIKANT says,

“yenna rascala, mind it”

wah wah..

RAJANIKANT says,

“yenna rascala, mind it”

ACP: abhijit, lash yahi kahi hai, find it..!

Latest CID Shayari 2014

Na jaane kal kya bayaan honge,

Phoolon ke gulshan, ya fir soone shamshan honge,

Iss ghar ka chappa chappa chaan maaro Daya,

yahaan zarur kaatil ki ungliyon ke nishaan honge!!!

CID JOkes 2014

Ajeeb o Garib dikhta hai PAA me Auro,

.

Ajeeb o Garib dikhta hai PAA me Auro…

.

.

.

Daya, Ghar ka kona kona chhan Maro!!

Party All Night Sanskari Verson By StarkWay :- The Super-Duper Hit Of 2014-15

Party All  Night Sanskari Verson By 

StarkWay

Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…

Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..

Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..

Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..

Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..

Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…

Bajate Raho..Ghantiiiii
Bajate Raho…Ghantiiii
bajate raho….ghnatiii
bajate rahooo

Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night.. [x2]

Jisne Bhi aarti hai karni
aajao mandir ke bheetar
Nariyal fool lekar
khane ko laga hai langar…

Sadda gudgaon delhi ki betiyaan aayi hai
sath me bhole ki CDiyaan bhi laayi hai
Pujari Prasad ke khud jimedaar hai
karlo aarti saari raat Kal itwar hai..

Ghanti Bajegi Loud
To beti Police bula legi
Us beti se jaake kehdo Ye aarti Yun hi chalegi

Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..

beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi

Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
Party-All-Night-based-aarti-all-night-Song-Lyrics
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..

Khulla mandir Guru Dwara
har beti bole ghar nahi jana
Babuji ko tu karde msg
aaja beti karke bahana

Aarti Hori bahot bhayankar
Aarti ke gajab najare
Jee karta hai bas ek baar hi
Kardu mai Kanyadan tumhare..

Ek kunwari beti ne yun ghnati baja rahi hai
ek hath se baj nahi rahi,do do baja rahi hai
Naache dekho kaisi…Mehfil macha rakhi hai
Itti si tu hai nahi..hein?
Sanskaar bhula rahi hai…

Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..

beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi

Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi

Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..

Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…

Bajate Raho..Ghantiiiii
Bajate Raho…Ghantiiii
bajate raho….ghnatiii
bajate rahooo

beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi

Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi

Lungi Dance Sanskari Verson :- 2014 Grand Hit

Lungi Dance Sanskari Verson By
Starkway


Sanskaro ko dimag me bithake
alok nath ke jaisa tilak lagake
prasad me nariyal milake
Aa jaao sare mood banake

satsang me jab ye gana bajega
sanskaro me aana padega
ghantii ko bajana padega
charansparsh krke dikhana padega

ladki walo ki taraf se aaya me too
mujhko rokega kon oor kaiko
sari betiyon ka kanyadan karunga
kisi ke daddy se nai darunga

Jisko jo bi hai wo karna wo kar lo
Idhar hi hoon mai khada pakad lo
Ghar pe jaake tum Google kar lo
Mere sanskaro ko Wikipedia pe padh lo

Door Se Dekha To _ Funny Shayari 2014-15

Door se dekha to kuchh dikha nahin,
Dooor se dekha… to kuchh dikha nahin…
Paas jake dekhaa to kuchh tha hi nahin!!

.

Door se dekha to Patthar dikhta tha,
Dooor se dekha… to Patthar dikhtaa tha…
Paas jake dekha to… sach-much Patthhar hi tha!!

.

Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha,
Door se dekha… to paani baras raha tha…
Paas gaya… to bheeg gaya!!

.

Door se dehka to ‘Dharmendar’ lag raha tha,
Door se dehka… to ‘Dharmendar’ lag raha tha…
Pass se dekha to ‘Bandar’ nikla!!

Honey Sing Blue Eyes Sanskari Verson :- 2014 Latest Hit

Blue Eyes

Sanskari Verson by

StarkWay

 

Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi mennu.
Mera aashirwad liya kar jab m
kanyadan krta hu ,
Me wo babuji jo sirf rota rehta hu,
Shadi m aaya hu ,tera kanyadan karlu,
Dek lunga tere saas aur sasur nu..
Leke chalu mandir ,nariyal todke,
sidhe aashirwad du ,na du tolmol k
tonight m gonna hold agarbati light
kar diya tera kanyadan phne krke
garhpe bol de
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy Jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Satsang pe chalna hai ya pehle jayegi
Mandir,
Nahi mera matlab, Satsang ke Mandir,
Tab Lunga Prasad, nahi to Agarbati,
Mandir mien hogi Ghanti, beti Satsang
me asaram ke Geet
You Decide
Ke kya karna hai,
Tera to aaj hi kanyadaan karna hai
Gangajal gira diya hai tune meri pant
pe,
Kehti hai Dhoti phenlo Guru Dwara leke
rent pay.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Suna tere mann mandir mein mere
Kirtan bajte hai,
Samdhan banane ka tere koi plan hai,
Shadi kradu, Fere Lagvadu,
Teri Saas bhi beti Alok ki Samdhan hai,
Teri Saas bhi beti Alok ki Samdhan hai,
Ah, Kehndi Shri Shri Alok Nath.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi mennu.

Latest CID Funny JOkes 2014-15

Neeche hai dharti, Upar aakash hai,

.

Dekihye zara…

.

Neeche hai dharti, Upar aakash hai..

.

.

Dicky Khol ke bola ACP,

“Oh god, Yahaan pe toh laash hai”

Latest CID Shayari 2014-15

Thande thande paani se nahana chahiye

.

Thande thande paani se nahana chahiye

.

.

Daya, hamein uss jagah par wapas jaanaa chahiye !

Funny CID Shayari

Gujar Gaye kitane din, hogaye Kitne saal

Gujar Gaye kitane din, hogaye Kitne saal

.

Par aaj bhi ACP karta hain mujrim ka wahi bura haal!

Latest CID Jokes

Jalne ke baad jo hoti hai, use kehte hain raakh

Wah Wah…

Jalne ke baad jo hoti hai, use kehte hain raakh

.

ACP Abhijeet se bola “Ye mujrim hai bada chaalaak”!

Latest Funny CID Jokes 2014-15

Ye haseen vaadiyan,
aur khula khula akaash.!

wah wah…

Ye haseen vaadiyan,
Aur khula khula akaash…

.

MY GOD Abhijeet, Ek aur laash!

Latest Shayari on Girls 2014-15

Master : Beta koi pyar wali shayari sunao?

Student :
Mota marta moti pe,
Bhukha marta Roti pe,
Master ji ki hai do beti,
aur mai marta hu chhoti pe..

Latest Funny Shayari On Girls

Yaroo.. Na karna ishq in ladkiyo se

Kyunki..

Yeh aati hain Heer ki tarah,
Lagti hain Kheer ki tarah,
Chubhti hain Teer ki tarah,

Aur

Aakhir mein halat kar deti hain, Fakeer ki tarah

Latest Funny CID Jokes 2014-15

Fedrick bola, Sir ladki badi rangeen hai

Wah wah…

.

Aage to suniye…

.

Fedrick bola, Sir ladki badi rangeen hai

ACP Pradhuman bola
Fedrick, ladki to rangeen hai par maamla bada sangeen hai!

Latest 2014-15 CID Jokes

Chanchal chandni ko chand sata raha hai

Chanchal chandni ko chand sata raha hai

ACP bola Abhijeet Se…

Zara pata karo yeh hum pe itne Shayaris Kaun bana raha hai?!

2014-15 Latest CID Jokes

Patni upwas rakhati hai, jab hota hai karva chauth

Wah wah

Patni upwas rakhati hai, jab hota hai karva chauth

.

.

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ACP Pradyuman kehta hai, tumein hogi SAZA-e-MAUT!

Latest Funny CID Shayari 2014-15

Apni mehnat kaa paseena is tarah se na pochhoo…

Wah wah…!!!

Apni mehnat kaa paseena is tarah se na pochhoo…

A.C.P. Pradyuman ne kaha “Socho Daya Sochooo”

Funny Kapil Sharma Jokes 2014-15

Kapil Sharma vs. Auto rickshaw driver:

Kapil: kitna paisa hua?

Auto wala: 30 Rs..

Kapil: Ye le 15 Rs

Auto Wala: Ye kya sirf 15 Rs.. ye to cheating hai

Kapil: Cheating kaise..Tu bhi to baith k aaya hai.. to sharing ka paisa kon dega, Tera baap?

Funny Husband-Wife Jokes 2014-15

Wife: Main driver ko naukri se nikal rahi hoon, aaj marte-marte bachi hoon

Husband: Please use ek aur mauka de do!!

Kapil Sharma Latest Funny Jokes 2014

Kapil Sharma:

Arz kiya hai…

Siddhu ke peechhe baithi ladkiya
Karna Chahti hain Romance

wah wah

Siddhu ke peechhe baithi ladkiya
Karna Chahti hain Romance

But Sidhu is Only interested in
Lungi Dance, Lungi Dance, Lungi Dance…

Funny CID Jokes 2014-15

Dr.Salunkhe gaa raha Dr.Tarika ke saath koi geet…

Wah Wah…

Dr.Salunkhe gaa raha Dr.Tarika ke saath koi geet…

Wah Wah…

ACP Pradyuman bole: Kuch toh gadbad hai…Abhijeet!

Latest Crazy C.I.D Facts 2014-15 :- Part 2

5. Accused person accepts his crime only after getting slap from Daya on face.

6. None of them ever got promotion, not even ACP.

7. Salunke just presses CONTROL & ALT, & gets Finger prints tested.

8. People remember a person they just saw once & give exact sketch.

9. End of episode, all criminals get phansi

Latest Crazy C.I.D Facts 2014-15 :- Part 1

1. Daya has the world record of breaking most number of doors.

2. C.I.D bureau has 1 Toyota qualis since last 11 years.

3. In entire 20 storeyed building of C.I.D only 7 people works.

4. There is no POLICE, C.I.D handles every case.

CID Funny Shayari 2014

arz kiya hai..

Pani Tha Glass Mein, Glass Gira Niche

Pani Tha Glass Mein, Glass Gira Niche

.

.

ACP Ne Kaha- Ab Kaatna Sari Umar Salakho K Piche

Latest CID Funny Shayari

Kandho ko kitabo k bojh ne jukaya

Wah wah,

Kandho ko kitabo k bojh ne jukaya,

ACP ne kaha daya tum khuni ko pakdo
Main Mutravisarjan kar ke aaya!

Latest CID Shayari 2014

A for apple, B for banana…

A for apple, B for banana…

ACP PRADYUMAN ne kaha:

kuch bhi ho jaye daya,
goli mat chalana…!!

Latest CID Jokes 2014

Exam tha sar par aur bachchon ne padhna chod diya…

Wah Wah..

.

Exam tha sar par aur bachhon ne padhna chod diya..

CID KA ACP tha toilet me,
Aur DAYA ne darwaza tod diya..!!

Latest CID Jokes 2014

Daya Fainted And Went In To Coma
Daya fainted n went into coma by seeing that…..

.

.

that
RAJNIKANT broke the door just by knocking it.

Latest Funny CID Shayari And Jokes 2014

1.
Dil diya hai, pyar kiya hai

Dil diya hai, pyar kiya hai

Acp Pradhyumn kehta hai

“ho na ho abhijeet khoon watchman ne hi kiya hai”

.

2.
Aajkal CID ki shayari ka keher hai

Aajkal CID ki shayari ka keher hai

Dr.Salunke ne kaha

“Maut ka karan zeher hai”

Latest Funny CID Shayari And Jokes 2014

1.
Strepsils khaoge toh dur hogi khaasi

Strepsils khaoge toh dur hogi khaasi

ACP pradyuman bole – “tumhe toh ab hogi phansi”

.

2.
Premika ki bewafaai ko premi kya janega

Premika ki bewafaai ko premi kya janega

ACP bola,
“ABHIJIT, MUJHE LAGTA HAI ye AISE NAHI MANEGA”.

.

3.
Aapne hamein dekha to ham sharmaye

Aapne hamein dekha to ham sharmaye

daya pakdo use, Wo bhag na paye.

Latest Funny Hindi Shayari 2014

Yasomati maiyya se bole nandlala,
Tata Sky laga dala toh life jhingalala. .

.

Ek aur arz hai…

Maine piya aapka khoon,
Good Afternoon Good Afternoon.

.

One more.. from CID

Shaam ka suraj dhal chuka hai,
Oh my god, sir yeh toh mar chuka hai.

.

C.I.D’s One

Fredricks ke sir par 50000 ka loan hai,
Abhijeet pata karo yeh CID waali shaayari banata kaun hai.

.

One more yaaro…

Pappu ki item paidaish gawaar hai,
Sab par dish sawaar hai, dish sawaar hai, dish sawaar hai.

.

1 aur ho jaaye…

Apne gammo ko dil me daba lo,
Naya GODREJ POWDER HAIR COLOUR, Bas kaato gholo aur lagalo.

.

Really, this is the last one..

Mithaai banata hai Halwaai,
CENTER FRUIT…kaisi jeebh lapp lapppaaaaiii..:

Latest Hindi Funny Shayari 2014

Palko Ko Jhuka Kar Salaam Karte Hain

Dil Ki Har Dua Aapke Nam Karte Hain

Kabool Ho To Muskura Dena,

Aapki Muskurahat Pe,


Puri Colgate Company Qurban Karte hain!

Latest Funny Shayaris 2014

Palko Ko Jhuka Kar Salaam Karte Hain

Dil Ki Har Dua Aapke Nam Karte Hain

Kabool Ho To Muskura Dena,

Aapki Muskurahat Pe,
Puri Colgate Company Qurban Karte hain!

Funny Jokes On Girl

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai,

kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.

Kharcha karo to bole
“darling, how are you?”.

Na karo to bole
“brother, who are you?”

Latest Funny Shayari 2014

Arz kiya hai..

Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.

Wah wah..

Gaur farmaiye..

Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.

Use jo mohabbat samjhe wo sabse bada Gadha hai!

Kapil Sharma Comedy Jokes

Shamaa bani to parwaane bane

Jaam bana to maikhaane bane

Kuchh to khaas baat hai bittu sharma teri family mein…

Warna, yun hi nahin shehar mein Pagalkhaane bane

Funny Kapil Sharma Jokes

Kapil Sharma and a Girl were standing on a Bus Stop

Kapil: Oo Ji Main kha… Nice Lipstick

Girl: Thanks

Kapil: Oo Ji Main kha… Nice Top and Jeans

Girl: Thanks

Kapil: Oo Ji Main kha… Nice Earrings

Girl: Thanks

Kapil: Aur to aur Nice Necklace

Girl: Thank you So Much BHAIYA…

Kapil: Kamaal Hai, Itni saari acchhi cheezein, Phir bhi tu Bhootni Lag rahi hai… !!

Funny Rajnikant Jokes Collection 2014

Ram aur Raavan bahut serious yuddh kar rahe the..

Tabhi Raavan ne Ram ke peechhe kisi ko khada dekha…

Raavan: chal yaar bye.
Ram: kya hua?
Raavan: Kuchh nahin yaar.. bye!
Ram: Arey bata to kya hua?
Raavan: Nahin yaar bas bye, le Sita ko leja!!
Ram: Arey hua kya! Ruk to sahi…
Raavan: Bas rehne de yaar, itni si baat pe Rajnikant ko bula liya!!!

Rajnikant 2014 Latest Jokes

Ek baar Rajnikanth Talwarbaaji ke ek muqabale mein pahunche.

Wahaa Cheen, Japan, aur Kayi Anya desho se talwarbaaji ke liye yoddha pahunche the

Pehle Chinese Talwarbaaj ne ek baal ke 2 tukde kar diye

Uske baad aaye Japani ne udati hui makkhi ki gardan kaat di

Phir aayi Apne Indian Rajnikanth Ki baaji….
Rajnikanth ne machchar udaya…
Apni talwar ghumaai…

Lekin machchar udata raha..

Japani aur Chinese dono hi kaafi khush hue, Aur unhone Rajnikanth se Puchha:
“Machchar to Abhi bhi udd raha hai?”

Rajnikanth ne muskurate hue jawab diya,
“Udd to raha hai, Lekin ab wah kabhi Baap nahin ban paayega”!!

Funny Rajnikanth Jokes 2014

Samsung Launching Rajnikant ‘R’ Series In 2014

Features:
20 SIMS,
Battery Standby: 1 Year,
1000 GB Memory,
100 Megapixels Camera,
TV,
Oven,
Washing Machine,
Fridge,
AC,
Mini Rocket Launcher,
Mini AK-47
&
The New Special Feature 24G In Which U Can Meet The Person & Talk Directly.

Latest Funnest Jokes Collection of Rajnikanth

Reporter to Rajnikant: how many jokes have been made on you till now?
Rajni: only 2 or 3.
Reporter: only 2 or 3?
Rajni: enna RASCALA! Rest all are facts!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Rajnikanth’s dog’s house has a signboard on it, saying..
Maalik Se Saavdhan!
_ _ _ _ _ _

Once Rajnikant Decided To Race With Time.. & The Result Is Time Is Still Running
_ _ _ _ _ _

Rajnikant participated in 1000 m race and obviously he came first But EINSTEIN died after watching that Coz … LIGHT came second…
_ _ _ _ _ _

Galileo used ‘Lamp’ to Study, Graham bell used ‘Candle’ to study, Shakshpeare studied in ‘Street lights’ But …..
Do u know about Rajnikant……????
Only Agarbatti_ _ _ _ _ _

When Rajnikant was a student! You can’t guess this one…
Teachers used to bunk!
_ _ _ _ _ _
 
While playing once Rajnikant said “statue” to a girl… Now that Statue is know as “Statue of Liberty”
_ _ _ _ _ _
 
Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd,
no one fools Rajnikant.
_ _ _ _ _ _
 
Once Rajnikant was playing cricket in the monsoons…. and …. The rain was cancelled due to the match.
_ _ _ _ _ _
 
Why did british leave India in 1947? Bcoz. they came to know Rajnikant was going to be born in 1948…
_ _ _ _ _ _
 
This Msg. is being Sent in the Interest of Humanity-“Guys Please Stop making Jokes on Rajnikant or else he will Delete the INTERNET…”

Rajnikanth Latest Jokes Collection 2014

If you spell ‘Rajnikanth’ wrong on Google
it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajnikanth?”
It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
 



One night, a ghost was consoling another,
“Don’t worry, I told you it’s all in your mind… There is nothing like Rajnikant”.




Rajnikanth started college.
All student were confused while taking admission because name of college is:
“Rajnikanth’s Medical College of Engineering for Commerce”.

Funny Rajnikanth Jokes 2014

RAJANIKANT says,

“yenna rascala, mind it”

wah wah..

RAJANIKANT says,

“yenna rascala, mind it”

ACP: abhijit, lash yahi kahi hai, find it..!

Top 25 Rajnikanth Jokes – One Liners:- Part 5

21. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

22. Once Rajnikanth forgot his toys near Mumbai, that place is now known as Essel World.

23. Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

24. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

25. When Rajnikanth logs on to facebook, facebook updates its status message!

Top 25 Rajnikanth Jokes – One Liners:- Part 4

16. Rajnikanth can answer a missed call.

17. If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs.. it’s time for next Windows release.

18. People update status via BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad, etc. Rajinikanth updates status via Calculator

19. When Rajinikant croses the Road, the cars have to look left and right before moving.

20. When God watched Robot, he said, “Oh my Rajinikanth!”

Top 25 Rajnikanth Jokes – One Liners:- Part 3

11. Whenever Rajnikanth makes an error, it’s an invention.

12. When Rajnikant switches on his AC without closing the door, winter starts in India.

13. Why did Superman and Batman visit Rajnikant? Because it was Teachers Day!

14. Rajnikanth can play the violin with a piano

15. Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!

Top 25 Rajnikanth Jokes – One Liners:- Part 2

6. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

7. The new symbol for the Rupee is actually Rajnikanth’s Signature.

8. Rajnikanth can produce fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes

9. Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call!

10. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajnikanth.

Top 25 Rajnikanth Jokes – One Liners:- Part 1

1. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired

2. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land

3. In Rajnikanth’s wedding, the fire took the saath phere of Rajnikanth and his wife

4. Rajinikanth has a statue of Madame Tussaud in his house!

5. Rajnikant is lovin’ it! – Macdonald’s new tagline

Funny Rajnikanth Jokes 2014

Lord Shiva: Mera Trishul kahan hai ?

Parvati: Rajnikanth le gaya.

Shiva: Kyun?

Parvati: Maggi khaane ke liye !!!

Rajnikanth One Line Joke Collection : Part 4

 1. Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

 2. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

 3. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

 4. Rajnikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

 5. One day Rajnikant bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday.

 6. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

 7. When Rajnikanth get angry at the Sun, it hides behind the moon… that phenomenon is called Solar eclipse.

 8. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

 9. Sun doesn’t rise until Rajinikanth says ‘Good morning’.

40. Rajinikanth was preparing for a spelling test, the rough sheet he used is known as Oxford Dictionary.

11. Rajinikanth was shot today… Tomorrow is the bullet’s funeral!

Rajnikanth One Line Joke Collection : Part 3

 1. Initially, Superman couldn’t fly. Then he met Rajnikant. You see, fear gives you wings!!!

 2. When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!

 3. Rajni once killed  0 men just by saying “BANG”

 4. Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret.

 5. Rajinkanth can divide by zero.

 6. Rajnikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

 7. When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

 8. Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe… air comes to hide in his lungs

 9. One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….

10. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Rajnikanth One Line Joke Collection : Part 2

1. The ice age ended when Rajnikant lost his cool

2. Rajnikant had died 20 yrs ago, death hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.

3. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.

4. Rajnikant sneezed only once in his entire life. That was when the tsunami hit.

5. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.

6. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.

7. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes

8. Rajnikant got his driver’s license at the age of  6 seconds.

9. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

10. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

Rajnikanth One Line Joke Collection : Part 1

1. When Pope walks with Rajnikanth, People ask “Who is that guy in robe?”

2. Rajnikanth can cure cancer with his first aid box

3. Gabbar singh forgets his dialogues when he sees Rajnikanth
4. Rajini can eat dosa with chop sticks

5. Once Rajnikanth was walking on the highway, he was caught for over speeding

6. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikanth out. It failed miserably

7. The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajnikanth are his films.

8. When Rajnikanth walks on road, he actually does not walk, the road walks under him.

9. An e-mail was sent from pune to mumbai and Rajnikanth stopped it in lonavala.

10. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’leg, after five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Rajnikanth Pj Shayri

Barsaat Hui Aur Bheeg Gaye Hum,

wah wah…. wah wah

Barsaat Hui Aur Bheeg Gaye Hum,

Rajnikanth Ne Phoonk Maari Aur Sukh Gaye Hum.

Rajnikanth Email :- Funny Rajnikanth Jokes

Google was shocked on this,

when it saw rajini’s email id is

gmail@rajnikanth.com!!

Awsome Rajnikanth Jokes 2014

Once Rajnikanth was Practicing For Spelling Test and

The Copy converted Into Oxford Dictionary.

Funny Baap Beta Jokes 2014

Papa:-
Nalayak, Tumne Apni Mummy Se Unchi Aawaz Mein Baat Ki?? .

.

Beta:-
Mujhe Pata Hai Dad Aapko Jalan Ho Rahi Hai
Kyun Ki,
Aap Aisa Nahi Kar Sakte!!

Funny Rajnikanth Jokes 2014

Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!

Rajnikanth Latest Jokes 2014

Lagaan ending in Rajnikanth style:

Climax : 1 ball 20 runs needed.
Bowler bowls, Rajni hits ball…
Ball splits into 4 pieces go for 6’s. India wins!
Yenna Rascala…. Mind It !!!!!!!!!

Funny Jokes Of Rajnikanth 2014

Rajnikant’s next project: TITANIC in Tamil

climax revised.

Both survive.

Rajni swims through Atlantic ocean.

Heroine in One hand and

.

.

.

Titanic in other!

Rajnikant Funny Jokes 2014

Prove that 2/10=2

Japanese student: Wrong question.

Pakistani student: Hum toh school hi nahi Gaya.

American student:
It’s strange, how is it possible?

Indian Rajinikanth solved it:
Two / Ten
= wo/en
(T with T cancel)
w = 23rd letter
o = 15th letter
e = 5th letter
n = 14th letter
So,
23+15 / 5+14
= 38 / 19
= 2
Saala Maths ka itihaas hila dala.

YANNA RASCALA, MIND IT !!

Rajnikant Funny Jokes 2014

Once Rajnikant played FM in mobile

One Alien came at RAJNI’s home from some galaxy

and requested,

Mere ladke ki board exams hain, thoda dheere bajao na!

Funny Jokes :- Dangerous Weapons

4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:

1. Wife’s Smile
2. Wife’s Tear
3. Wife’s Looks

And the most dangerous,

4. Wife’s Missed Call.!

Latest CID Jokes 2014

Bush: Osama mile toh use fod do..

Gandhi: Hinsa achi baat nhi, use chhod do..

Einstein: Samay rukta nhi, to use mod do..

Manmohan: theek hai!

Sonia: desh k liye mujhe vote do..

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Biceps build karne ke liye uspar load do..

Bill Gates: Windows unlock karne k liye use code do!

Rajnikanth: oye admin ! mere kaarname duniya ke samne lana chhod do

And the best one

.
.
ACP Praduman: Daya, khooni andar hai, main kehta hu darwaza tod do..

Rajnikant Latest 2014 Jokes

Daya fainted n went into coma by seeing that…..

.

.

that
RAJNIKANT broke the door just by knocking it

Funny Jokes Of Husband Wife

Wife : tumhe meri khoobsurati jaada acchi lagti hai ya akkal mandi.

Husband: mujhe to tumhari yeh majaak karne ki aadat acchi lagti hai ?

Husband Wife Funny Jokes

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.

Santa Sardar: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,

Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!

Santa Sardar: To pagal AAurat Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon

Funny Jokes

Aurangazeb:
Senapati batao ki hum Shivaji ko kyu Nahi dhund pa rahe hain??

Senapati:
kyoki Maharaj ham Mughal Hain Google Nahi !!!

Funny Rajnikant Jokes

The death of Michael Jackson is revealed..

The day before MJ died..,
MJ saw RAJINIKANTH’s Dance n got Shocked!

Because Rajini had performed SUNWALK !!

Funny WhatsApp Jokes :- BoliyWood WhatsApp Chat

Bollywood’s WhatsApp Group – Funny Conversation



Akshay on whatsapp

Akshay- Hi everyone !!

Shahid- Hi over acting ki dukaan :-D :-D

Akshay- :-| :-|

Saif- :-P :-P

Kareena- Hi Saifu.. Love u <3 :-*

* shahid left group *

Bipasha- haha.. bichara.. how r u friends? :-)

John- hey am fine .. missed u .. how's u? <3

* Bipasha left group *

Akshay- are yaar bahot boring ho raha hai :-| :-S

Ajay- Kyun? Tees maar khan dekhi kya ? :-D :-D

Akshay- Nahi.. Teri Himmatwala dekhi :-x :-x

* Ajay was removed from group *

Ashwariya- Nice to meet u all.. Thanks for adding in this group :-)

Salman- Miss toh humne bhi bahot kiya aapko :-( :-|

Ashwariya- Hi.. who are you? :-S

Salman- :-( :-|

Akshay- kya Sallu bhai.. bahot emotional ho rahe ho :-P :-P

* Ashwariya left group *

Salman- :-( :-(( :-(

Vivek- kon hai Tu ? Kyun ro raha hai ?

Salman- mujh par ek ehsaan karna ke mujh par koi ehsaan mat karna :-x

* Vivek left group *

Amitabh- hahaha… are Akki hamare zamane ke actors hai ki nahi is group mein ? :-D :-)

Akshay- Haan hai na… Rekha ji hai

* Amitabh left group *

Chunky- Bas karo yaar.. sab group Kyun chodd rahe hai ? :-O :-(

Saif- chunky ko kaun add kiya ? :-x

Chunky- :-( :-( :-(

Salman- :-P :-P :-P

Govinda- Aap sabko Govinda ka namaskar!

Shakti kapoor- Aau mere Raja babu.. aapko bhi namaskar :-D :-)

* Shakti kapoor was removed from group *

Shahrukh- Kyun nikala usko group se :-D

Akshay- Sorry.. galti se add huva… Vulgar members not allowed :-D :-P

Salman- Shahrukh ko Kyun add kiya? :-x :-x

Shahrukh- Tera kya ja raha hai? :-x :-x

Salman- sahi se reh nahi toh maar khayega :-D

Shahrukh- Jyada natak mat kar :-x

Akki- Ladai bandh karo varna dono ko group se bahar nikal dunga :-X :-D

Suniel- Akki bhai Hera Pheri 3 ki shooting Kab shuru hogi? :-(

Akki- Tuje liya hai kya film mein? :-P :-D

Suniel- :-X :-X :-X

Hritik- Hi Anna… Aaj Kal filmon mein dikhai nahi dete.. :-D :-D

Suniel- jabse Krissh dekhi hai filmon mein kaam karne ka mann nahi karta. :-P :-X

Madhuri- Hello Friends.. Meri Gulabi Gang film aa rahi hai.. zarur dekna :-) :-)

Juhi- yes friends zarur dekna.. main bhi hun :-)

Alia bhatt- Ha ha .. koi nahi dekega :-P :-P

Raveena- Akki … bachchiyon ko Kyun add kiya group mein :-D :-D

Sunny leone- only adults allowed :-P :-D <3

Saif- oye Sunny Leone bhi hai kya ? <3 :-D :-P

* Kareena left group *

* Sunny Leone was removed from group *

* Sunny deol added in group *

Akki- Hi Dhai kilo wale haath :-)

Sunny deol- Action hero se mazak?

Suniel- main hun action hero :-)

Akki- main hun :-X

Salman- Action ka dusra naam Salman khan ;-)

John- I am Action hero :-D

Rajnikanth- Munna.. jhund mein toh suvar aate hai... sher akela aata hai :-D :-D :-D :-B

John- kaun Tu ?

Rajnikant- Yenna raskala .. mind it

Sunny- kaun hai yeh Akki? Bata na.?

Akki- Rajnikant sir :-) :-D :-B

* Sunny deol left group *

* Hritik left group *

* John left group *

* Saif left group *

* Salman left group *

* Shahrukh left group *

Funny Boy Vs Girl Jokes

Problem with Boys
“They can make u believe that they love you, even when they don’t”

&

Problem with Girls
“They can make you believe that they don’t love you, even when they really do!”

Funny Jokes 2014 :- 2nd Fastest Person To Become CM

Arvind Kejriwal is the 2nd fastest person to become CM, from date of joining politics.

1st is Anil Kapoor in Nayak.

Funny Jokes :- Girlfriend Ka Birthday

Ek ladke ki girlfriend ka birthday tha :-)

Wo city se bahar tha isliye usne uske liye 24 gulab ke phool book kar diye :-<3 :-*

Usne apni gf ko phone per kaha....
maine tumhare liye utne hi rose ke flowers bheje hain jitne years ki tum aaj ho gayi ho.. :-)

Udhr phoolwale ne socha – in bhai sahab ne pehli bar meri shop se order kiya h 10 phool jyada dunga to agli bar bhi yahi aayenge. ….and usne 24 ki jagah 34 flowers bhijwa diye :-D

ladka BECHARA aaj tak nhi samajh paya ki akhir uska breakup kyun hua!

Funny Jokes : - Gujrati, Madrasi And Sardaar

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch and Gujju opened his lunch box & said, “Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Idli Sambhar again! IfI get idli sambhar one more time I’m going to jump off too.”

The Sardaar opened his lunch and said, “Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The Sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, Gujju’s wife was weeping..
She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!”

The Madrasi’s wife also wept
and said, “I could have given him dossa!I didn’t realize he hated idli sambhar so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at the Santa Sardaar’s wife.

.

.

The Sardar’s wife said,
“Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”

Funny Jokes About KID'S

A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane.
The man turned to him and said, “Let’s talk”.

Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?

Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?

Kid:
Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question…
Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps.
Why?

Man: I don’t know.

Child: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don’t know shit.. ?

Funny Jokes 2014

Aaj Jo ek aurat ke sath hua woh kisi dushman ke saath bhi na ho…


Subhah uthi?…..

breakfast banaya

lunch banaya

bachoo ko khilaya :-)

Pati ko khilaya. :-) :-)

unhe tayaar karke, tiffin deke bheja!

Joothe bartan ikhatha karke rakh diye!

kapde washing machine mein daal diye..

Phir shower lene chali gai!

bahar nikalkar nail paint lagayi!! :-)

hair dry kiye..

Red suit pehna…

kajal lagaya…

lipstick lagai..

hair style kiya…

Bus duppata hi lene wali thi!!

…Ki uska mobile baja!!

jaise hi usne phone uthaya..

Usse laga jaise kisine garam lohe ka hathoda uske kaan par maar diya ho

aur chillayi…

Kya…??

Kya…..??

Kya bol rahi hai tu ??

Udhar se aawaz aayi: Memsaab mereko bukhar hai ….ajj kaam par nahi aaugi….!!

NAHIIIIIIIIIII….. memsaab behosh!!

Funny Tappu Jokes

Teacher – paani me rahne vale 5 jeevo ke naam batao.?

Tapu – Mendak

Teacher – very good, baaki char bolo..

Tapu –
uski maa,
uska baap,
uski behan aur
uska bhai!!

Funny Jokes of Tapu

Teacher- Chaand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
 
Tapu – NEIL ARMSTRONG.

Teacher- Aur doosra ??

Tapu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga….. Langdi taang khelne thode na gaya tha woh!

Funny KIDS Jokes

Father: Aaj Se Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna…!

Son:
Oh, come On Dad,
It Was Just A ‘School Test’
Not A “DNA” Test…!



Teacher : Murgiyo ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?

Son of Sardar : Sir, agar murgiyo ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na…

Funny Alia Bhatt Jokes

NOW THE THIS ONE ULTIMATE:


Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Alia: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Alia: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.  :-P :-D

Jokes On Alia Bhatt

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Alia: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?



Alia: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Alia: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ?All India Radio! ?

Alia Bhatt Jokes

Alia joined new job.
1st day she worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Alia: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.



Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken..
Alia: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.



At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Alia: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Alia Bhatt Funney Jokes

Alia RETURNS

Media: Where were you born?
Alia: India ..
Media: which part?
Alia: What, which part? Whole body was born in India .



Alia and Pooja were fixing a bomb in a car.
Pooja: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Alia: Don’t worry, I have one more.



Alia: What is the name of your car?
Pooja: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Alia: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Latest PJ Jokes 2014

Q1. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..

nahi pata..??

Ans:- D’Cold
(Chain ki saans – D’cold )



Q2. Chalo ab batao… Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai?

this is quite simple..

Ans:- D’Cold again…
Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi…

Top Funny PJ Jokes

Q1. What will you call a person who is leaving India ??

Socho……………

Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).



Q2. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha uska naam kya tha?

Ans:- adidas?



Q3. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls into the well. Why ?

Ans:- Because Luv is blind!

Top Funny WhatsApp PJ Jokes

Q1. Prasad ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi…
Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ??

Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener (Obviously, this Joke is old, as Tendulkar is already retired :-) )



Q2. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ‘heart is umbrella’…

Which movie did he really want to see..?

Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai…!



Q3. Woh kya hai jo Dil mein hain, Mann mein hai par Dhadkan mein nahi?

Ans:- Arey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

Funny Joke On Teachers

Teacher in class:

Suno bachcho kal tum logo ka group photo shoot hoga..
Sab log apne apne ghar se Rs.50/-le kar aana

Pappu (to his friend):
Saala ye sab teacher logo ki mili bhagat hoti hai..
Ek photo ke 20/- rupaye lagte hai,
aur hum logo se 50-50 rupaye liye ja rahe hai…

Matlab ek bachche se 30/- Rupye bachayenge,
matlab akele apni class me 60 bachche hai to 60*30=1800 Rs. .
khuli Loot macha rakhi hai in logo ne…

Fir hamare paiso se ye sab staff room me
baith ke samosa khayenge aur hum bachchon ko milega Ghanta…

Chal bhai tappu ghar chalte hain, kal mummy se Rs.50/- le k aana..
Bhalai ka to zamaa nahi nahi rah gaya!

Pappu to mom:
“Mummy kal school me group photo shoot hona hai teacher ne Rs.100/- rupye mangaye hai..

Mom: 100 rs!!
khuli loot macha rakhi hai in logo ne,,
Fir hamare paiso se ye sab aish karenge…

ruk pappu beta mei tere pappa se mangti hu…

MOM TO DAD:
are sunte ho, pappu ke school mein group photo ke liye 200/- mange hai!!